Love Ruins Your Life

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In watching the latest episode of Once Upon a Time (episode 407 “The Snow Queen”), I heard a quote that resonated with me. Will Scarlett, originally part of the Merry Men says in response to Robin Hood’s question about his heart-wrenching efforts for his True Love being worth it, “Mate, if you find someone you love enough to ruin your entire life for, it’s always worth it.”

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I don’t think we usually consider “falling in love” to be “ruining our lives.” It seems silly doesn’t it? Love is supposed to be beautiful and wonderful and happily ever after? (Okay, maybe not “happily ever after” all the time.) But actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever heard a television show speak such truth before.

On the one hand, if you’ve ruined your life for a person, it BETTER be worth it. But on the other, do we ever really think about how we “ruin our lives” in pursuing our dreams of love? What about the guy who chooses to go to his hometown college so he’ll be near his rising senior girlfriend rather than attending the out-of-state university he’s been dreaming of since childhood? Or the post-grad who gives up her job, friends, and family to move across the country and live with her fiancé who decides after only a few months they’ve grown apart and breaks up with her? Or what about when you pledge your love and life to someone but you’ve barely been married and they die—stage 4 diagnosis, car crash, freak accident, doesn’t matter because they’re gone?

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But what I think this quote really talks about, and what resonates with me the most is the idea that you chose to ruin your life. You don’t necessarily think of it as ruining your life, but you know you are significantly changing the life you had or wanted or worked for. That’s what real love is, I think. That what makes and break marriages. What builds people up and tears them down. What makes us question our choices. What makes brides or grooms get cold feet at the altar.

Love is a scary emotion.

But is it worth it like Will Scarlett says? The romantic in me says, YES! The cynic in me asks, “Has all the world gone crazy?”

Maybe it has. Maybe it’s worth it. Maybe it’s not. Maybe it doesn’t matter as long as you accept your choices in life and move on?

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